The Endgame - Part 2

He is 29 years old. Faded blue shirt. Faded blue Jeans. Lean. Long hair. Expressive eyes. A chiseled jawline. A handsome guy.

And he's just been saved by the hand of god.

The sky opens up with the light of the day as he makes his way away from the bridge. He has a black mask on. There is a virus eating the planet. His heart is light as he walks the 5 miles to the animal shelter. And his heart also dreads at meeting with Tanya, his German shepherd. How do you make peace with someone you have deserted?

He passes a Coffee shop, a rich aroma of fresh brew in the air. He is tempted but then shakes his head. Tanya first. He reaches the animal shelter. It's 8.30 am. He knows it doesn't open before 11 am. He waits patiently on the steps. He has a closer look at the jacket given to him by Hagrid.

It’s well-worn and scruffy at the edges. He puts his hands in the right pocket of the jacket and finds a ring. It looks like platinum but then it isn't like anything found on this planet. He slips it on the fourth finger of his right hand. And gets hit by a blast of  raw energy.

The Armor of god. He knows he will never take it off. Ever.

The owner of the dog shelter is not surprised to see him. She looks at him and says quietly 'Something told me you are a keeper. And keepers don't desert no one. And she needs you'. The 29 year old looks at her and nods, unable to find the words.

He goes to the kennel where Tanya is kept. A bowl of food and water is kept inside. Both are untouched. Tanya is lying on the floor, her brown fur matted with dust and a distant look in her eyes. He removes his mask and says softly. 'Hi sweetie, I am back'...Tanya’s ears perk up and she gets up. She looks at him.  And then walks away to a corner of the kennel and looks away. He feels a dread in his heart. 'I know Tanya. I am so sorry'. She’s not interested. What do you do with someone who has slowly switched off for weeks, grown distant and finally abandoned you? And now he comes back when he pleases.

The lyrics of a timeless song floats in the air - It sure took a long time to miss me... A long time for you to come around.... A long time to find what was wrong.. Sure took a long long time.

He doesn't say anything. Just kneels down and put his hands around her neck and buries his face in the warm fur. And cries. 'I just wanted to die. I am sorry I didn't think of what would happen to you. I got saved by Hagrid today...I got my second shot at life'.

It takes a full week of love to get her back. They are not BFFs for nothing.

The days go by. For the first time, since the car wreck three years back, he's sleeping well. Tanya has noticed the radiant change in him and loves him like never before. In the nights, he sits on the rocks on the sea shore and keeps looking at the heavens. Something tells him it’s not yet the time to go back home to his folks and friends yet.

One night, he is jolted out of his sleep. A voice in his head says urgently. 'The bridge. Same place. Be there in 20 min'.

Hagrid!!!

He looks at his watch. It's 3.45 am. He picks up a pair of crumpled jeans from the floor and slips them on as fast as he can. He stuffs his mask in his back pocket and urgently calls out - 'Tanya, let’s go', and he's out of the door. He doesn't bother about shoes and starts running barefoot, slowly at first and then picks up pace. Tanya is right next to him. It's a good two mile run and by the time they arrive at the bridge, he’s drenched in sweat and short on breath.

The long bridge is a magnificent structure. All steel and suspension wires. The halogen lamps throw lights over the road. He slips in the shadows of the sidewalk and quickly walks towards where he last met Hagrid. He looks at his watch. It’s 4.02 am. It's a clear night, a million stars in the skies and there's a light breeze blowing.

He sees a figure on the other side of the ledge, both hands gripping the railing and about to let go. There is a sinking feeling of Deja Vu. He steps forward.

Hey!

The figure turns back to look at him, eyes full of torment. She is around 25, very pretty, five foot four, silky hair touching the shoulders, a pale skin that sun rays are not very kind to.  She is wearing a white shirt, teal blue jeans. The eyes are perceptive and glimmer of intelligence. There are laugh lines around the mouth. There is a stubborn icy streak about her that tells him loud and clear, with this one - life is either her way or the highway.

50% Savage. 50% Sweetheart.

He grips the railing with both his hands, about 10 feet away and looks at her and says "You jump and I jump too. Remember the Titanic!". The girl stares at him wide eyed. He continues 'Everyone dies some day... But it's not your time today.  And mind you, I specialize in rescuing lost souls.  And let me tell you, I am a strong swimmer.  With and against the tide. So there!

And under his breath he mutters "Hagrid, you have to help me here, I can't swim to save my life! I would probably reach the bottom before she does”!! The skies chuckle.

She looks at him. His hair and the black Tee are damp from the night sprint, his breathing still heavy due to the exertion, the faded blue jeans, the bare feet, the hands gripping the railing with the little finger curved up slightly, the ring on the fourth finger of his right hand, and the large expressive eyes which tells a story of pain. And she sees Tanya sitting next to him, and the bond between them.

She doesn't ask him what he's doing there at this unearthly hour.

'Want to talk about it'? He asks her gently. She looks at him and then looks away at the distant horizon over the sea. There's faint lights from a ship passing through the night.  'My life's shallow. Everyone wants to own me but no one wants to know me. I am just wearing a fake mask for the world and I am tired of it.'

'No one really loves me for what I am'. 

He looks at her and smiles. 'Something tells me that's just about to change. I promise you I'll never let you be alone again. You'll never be unhappy again, I'll look out for you. I promise you'. She looks at him for a long time. And then smiles back. It’s a beautiful smile.

Something has just irrevocably shifted in his destiny. Life has come to a full circle from the car wreck. He touches his ring, looks at the skies and asks softly ‘Hagrid, did you send me to save her, or did you send her to save me’?

A million stars suddenly sparkle brightly and twin bolts of lightning rips across the cloudless sky in response.

The Endgame

July 2020 - 4.45 am - The skies are still dark over the long bridge. It's a magnificent structure.  All steel and suspension wires. There's a light rain and the seas underneath are getting increasingly restless, throwing spray over the bridge.  The city in a lock down mode. A city under siege by a virus. There’s not a soul in sight.

A man stands dangerously on the ledge on the other side of the railing, his hands gripping the railing. His face revealing nothing. Yet the intent is clear. 

Dead man walking. A classic setting for the endgame.

He is 29 years old. Too young to die.  Faded blue shirt. Faded blue Jeans. Lean. Long hair. Expressive eyes. A chiseled jawline. A handsome guy.  

A random thought makes way into his head. 'May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be'.

He looks at the heavens bitterly. Yes - I am exactly where I am meant to be. He closes his eyes as he prepares to let go of life.

Hey!

The voice comes over the roar of the wind. There is a sense of urgency and yet a sense of calm. A stranger steps up from the shadows. Tall, Heavyweight, Long hair, unkempt beard, sharp eyes, a black mask. There is a virus eating the planet. 

There is something about the eyes. He reminds one of Hagrid. But not quite.

He has his shoes and jacket in his hands and carefully puts it on the ground. Then, he calmly removes his mask and puts it in his trousers. Before the other can comprehend, the stranger effortlessly jumps over the railing. He is now 5 feet away from our man on the ledge. The waves stare up at them.

WTF.

"You jump and I jump too". The younger man stares at him. 'What is this? The Titanic"? The stranger laughs. It's an easy laugh. 'For someone about to kill himself, you sure have some sense of humor’!

The anger returns. "Go away, leave me alone".

The stranger shrugs. 'Everyone dies someday, son. But it's not your time today'.  And mind you, I specialize in rescuing lost souls.  And let me tell you, I am a strong swimmer.  With and against the tide. So there! 

There is kindness in the voice. And there is kindness in the rugged eyes.  The compassion and empathy goes into the lost soul's heart like an arrow.  

The man sniffles. The tears are dangerously close to the surface. The stranger looks at him and asks gently. 'Want to talk about it'?

'No, I want to die'.

'It’s okay, my son. Tell me your story. What could have happened to such a cool guy?  To lead him to quit. There's something about you that tells me you are not a quitter!

'Listen Hagrid'.

Don't call me that! I like Harry Potter, but there are limits!! 

The easy humor and kindness makes its way to the man's heart. The dam breaks. The words come tumbling out incoherently. In bits and pieces.

It's a story of despair. And heartbreak. The young man's eyes goes into a misty past.

3 years back. "It was my best friend Scarlett's wedding. We went for a late night drive before the day of the wedding. There were 4 of us, including her fiancé'."

A car blindsided them. The tears cloud the eyes as he looks back at the car wreck dully.

Everyone died.  I lived. Why?... I drove the car.  I killed them! 'I am tired of living with myself anymore'.

A survivor’s guilt.

And then life goes spiraling downhill from there. Friends. Family. He has left them all behind to run from the car wreck.  He hasn't slept in 3 years. It's been quite a journey since then.

More than a 29 year old can handle. More than anyone of us can handle. He looks at the stranger resignedly. 

'I can't fight any more'. 'I am a loser'. The word hangs in the air, refusing to go anywhere. A damning final indictment of a human being. There is silence in the air. Both the men look at the rising sun in the horizon.

The stranger looks at the man.  

I'll tell you something. You? A loser? A quitter?..Do you even know what you are talking about! Just look at you. 

Do you smoke?  The man looks at him dazedly. What is this? Is he offering me a last smoke or something?  'No I don’t'.

Do you drink? 'No I don’t'.

Drugs?  'No way!' 

You have not slept a single night for 3 years. Sleeping pills ? ‘No!'.

Doesn't that tell you something about yourself ? ‘No!’

Well, It tells me about someone who's been slugged repeatedly, bought down to the knees and still refuses to give in. It tells me you got the grit and character to take on the punches of life!

The man doesn't look at him. The hands are gripping the railing.

'Let me ask you another thing'. Do you remember you helped an old woman cross the street last month? Do you remember smiling at a street urchin on a signal and prayed to god he would have chances like everyone else?

The man stares at him. 'How do you know that?’

'Never mind that. These small acts of kindness and compassion define you. You have helped so many people in your journey. You were the 3 am person for so many people in your life. You are blessed with so much humor and kindness and warmth'.  Have you forgotten all that?

Believe me, you haven't a clue of your own worth. 

The man is silent.

Let me ask you another question. 'What happens to Tanya now?’ The man looks stricken.

Yes, Tanya. The German shepherd pup you took in 2 years back. You left her at the dog shelter yesterday. You didn't have the nerve to look at her the one last time! And you a keeper, of all people doing that !

There is no judgement in the voice. Just sadness.

The knife goes through the man's heart. A picture of dejection and misery of someone who knows he has let a loved one down. 

The stranger moves closer and looks at him intently. 

Just remember one thing my friend. 

You have forsaken a lot of people who love you. But you know what.. They love you unconditionally, and will never give up on you. You are truly blessed. They have you in their prayers every single moment since you left them. 

And their prayers have bought me to you. 

Trembling, the young man looks at him. 'Who are you’? The stranger shakes his head and says simply. 'I am here to take care of you. High time someone did. You have hit the rock bottom. You have suffered a lot more than anyone deserves to. Things will only get better.  I promise you. I'll take care of you. I'll never let go of you. Summer or winter. I promise you'.

6.02 am - The first of the seagulls fly in for an early morning sweep. There is a lone boat in the horizon. The stranger helps the young man off the ledge and now we are back on safe ground. Both sit on the pavement. The stranger puts back his shoes and puts his jacket round the man's shoulders. The man covers his face in his hands.

Hagrid!? 

'I really wish you wouldn't call me that’!

He is lost.  'What do I do, where do I go?'.. The stranger just looks at him. And leans over and gives him a bear hug. And keeps holding on while the tears starts flowing. He weeps for Scarlett and the life she never had.. He weeps for his lost friends..He weeps for his lost soul..He weeps for Tanya, his dog.

And he weeps for the car wreck that defined his life.

The stranger lets him cry on. And on and on. Taking his pain and grief. Till he's free of it. All of it. And the stranger does something very few people are privileged to see. In the young man's mind, he shows him a glimpse of a future of love, happiness And fulfillment.

The man opens his eyes in wonder. He feels light. A fog has cleared from the mind...A ray of happiness. And a glimmer of Hope. It's magic. They get up from the pavement and look at each other. There is amazement in the man's eyes.

Hagrid!?  The stranger rolls his eyes. 'Sigh, here we go again'. He then smiles. It's a beautiful smile. It's a smile full of sunshine and rainbows.

'I told you. You are going to be fine. I am watching your back. I'll always be there for you. I promise you'. And raising his hand in blessing, he dissolves into a brilliant shimmer of light and disappears into a white light in the skies. 

The man looks at the skies in wonder. He hugs the jacket given to him and buries his face in it.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

There is a spring in his stride as he takes out a mask from his faded blue jeans and puts it back on.  There is a virus eating the planet. He clutches on to the jacket.  He will never let it go. Ever.

He smiles. It's a beautiful smile. Time to get back to Tanya, his German shepherd.

And time to get back to life.

And life goes on..

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself… You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow…”- Khalil Gibran

It's a random thing. A child is born - to the parents no less than a princess. Or a prince.  Birthday Parties, School, Play, the warmth of a small child’s embrace.  A moment of love, joy, and incredible fulfillment. The dream of every parent. A loving and protective home - The right of every child. 

Graduations, Convocation, Dreams. Everyone grows up..as they must. The years roll by.  

Fast forward to a hospital ICU in Washington DC. A 27-year-old girl is seriously injured after a fall during a trek. The game of life is on a hit & miss mode now.  Her parents are sitting outside in the waiting room, paralyzed with fear, the clock mercilessly ticking away. It's been a strained equation between the parents and the daughter for some time now. Conflicts ranging on Career Choices and choices of relationships. Issues that are trivial compared to the nightmare unfolding now.

No matter how our relationship with our children is, they are a part of us…And their pain will always be part of us.

In another part of the world in Mumbai, a man holds vigil for his 75-year-old father who is in a coma. The end is due anytime now. A million thoughts go through his head as he grieves for his father, himself, and the gulf that existed between them. His father suddenly opens his eyes in the middle of the night and both father and son just look at each other for a long moment for the last time.  There are no words exchanged. The end comes 2 days later.

No matter how our relationship with our parents is, we are a part of them...and hence their pain will always become part of us, scarring our souls in ways we can never fathom.

Parents and Children - An equation that starts with the celebration of the birth of a new life. A bond made beautiful by love, tenderness, and family. And ironically with time, a bond invariably weighed down by the weight of expectations and a love that ultimately becomes conditional. Sadly, the worth of a child is often determined by the dreams of the parents’ definition of success. A lifetime of grappling with who is right and who is wrong.

But then, one day, a wake-up call comes from life who intervenes and takes away everything and leaves behind nothing but regrets and unanswered questions.

Maybe this could be your story, or mine..or maybe not whatever.

And life goes on.